Authentic vs. 'keeping it real'

Authenticity vs. "Keeping it Real"

"Keeping it real" – a phrase bouncing off the walls of social media, echoing in pop songs, and muttered amongst friends. But what does it truly mean? Is it mere honesty, a bluntness devoid of nuance, like a dodgeball to the face? Or is it something deeper, a tapestry woven from self-awareness, growth, and a commitment to living authentically?

Let's unravel this tangled thread, separating the superficial "keeping it real" from the profound tapestry of authenticity.

Liberated Lips:

On the surface, "keeping it real" can be alluring. It can feel so good to say whatever pops into your head, to ‘read’ people, to express anger without reservation, to shed the masks and reveal the raw, unfiltered you. It's a rebellion against societal expectations, a middle finger to the pressures of perfection. 

But is this simply an excuse for unbridled negativity, a shield against vulnerability? Is it a license to hurt others with our brutal honesty, masking pent up vitriol and cruelty? If we need to answer questions like “AITA” on the regular, we may want to revisit the consequences that ‘keeping it real’ has had on our relationships, opportunities, etc.

Come Correct with Kindness:

Authenticity, on the other hand, transcends this superficiality. It's not just about speaking your mind, but about doing so with a conscious heart. Authenticity doesn’t have to be devoid of kindness, we’re all out here trying to do the best we can. I really like the principles of The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz as it gives us a wise framework on how to use our words our with others to optimize kindlier interactions:

Be impeccable with your word

Don’t take anything personally

Don’t make assumptions

Always do your best

What makes this easier to do is knowing yourself, your values, and your intended impact on the world. It's about owning your shadows and flaws while striving to embody your highest potential. How can we do that?

The Twin Pillars: Know Thyself, and Grow Thyself!

The journey of authenticity begins with introspection. It’s about getting curious enough to start asking the hard questions: "Who am I, at my core?" "What motivates my actions?" "Why do I struggle with certain things?" “What do I stand for?” This self-awareness is the foundation, the bedrock upon which we build our authentic selves. 

This means taking internal inventory and responsibility for what we find in there, for all of who we are. All of it. Not blaming Mama and them, the government, AI or whatever. If there ever is a time to ‘get real,’ it is within this context of self-evaluation.  And it is okay to get help with some of the things we find, the cringey and the uncelebrated.

But knowing isn't enough. Growth is the engine that propels us forward. It's the inner work we do to nurture our talents, to confront our fears, and to refine our EI, emotional intelligence. It's about facing the darkness within, not with fear, but with the understanding that it contains hidden treasures – untapped strength, resilience, and wisdom.

Working the Shadow Mine:

The shadow self – our repository of repressed emotions, unwanted aspects of ourselves, and fractured soul pieces – hold the keys to unlocking our true potential. These are things not to be discarded or denied, but to be embraced and explored. Just like a skilled miner, when we delve into the depths of our shadows (often precipitated by a dark night of the soul) we begin  unearthing the gold, platinum, and diamonds of our character that lie hidden within. That’s real growth. 

So, what do we do with this treasure? Sometimes we convince ourselves that understanding our inner workings is enough. 

Nope.

This growth isn't about shedding parts of ourselves like unwanted sweaters. Nor is it about giving condescension to others who haven’t done the work of knowing and growing themselves. If you do that, then yes, YATA (lol, just playing, I love acronyms!) What we can shed is the old, outdated stories, like a serpent sheds its skin. Then we can walk out our growth by  cultivating, refining, and polishing up our most precious gifts: our genuine love, our authentic feelings, and our unique perspective on the world. These are the treasures that enrich the lives of everyone around us.

Authenticity isn't a destination, but a continuous journey. It's about embracing the messy, complex beauty of being human, about shedding the masks and living with an open heart. It's about offering the world not just our unfiltered thoughts, but the best version of ourselves, cultivated with care and offered with love.

So, the next time you hear the phrase "keeping it real," ask yourself: "Am I simply being unfiltered, or am I radiating the truth of my authentic self?" The answer lies in the depths of your own heart, waiting to be discovered.

G.R.A.C.E. fully yours,

Shamamma Bean